Relationships

My Second Time Changing My Name Since Being Married

Before my husband and I got married we had long conversations day in and out on what I was going to change my name to. We both agreed that I would change my name to my FIRST, MAIDEN, HIS LAST. I was going to replace my middle name with my maiden name and keep his last name. And that’s exactly what I did.

After I went through the process of changing my name to what we agreed upon, my husband tells me that keeping my maiden name is a sign of disrespect, and that I should carry his name with pride. I wanted to keep my maiden name because that’s all I have left.

I was losing a huge part of me, and he just didn’t understand.

I should have known keeping my maiden name was a bad idea. Especially after the clerk (who was a man) at the Social Security Office, raised his eyebrows and shook his head as if I was wrong for keeping it.

The Cost

While changing my name the first time was an easy process, this time I had to go through the courts to change it. And the process was NOT FREE nor was it as simple as the first time.

Here’s what I had to pay for:

Name Changing Packet: $40

Filing Fee: $401

Fingerprints: :$65

Since our police departments no longer does fingerprints, I had to go somewhere to get fingerprinted and have them send it to the courts. Which was a hassle, considering the fact that I have a 6-month old who is teething like crazy, and likes to be held all the time.

My Advice To You

Before you decide on whether or not you’re keeping your maiden name, or adding a hyphen to your last name, please have this conversation with your significant other.  Although I did have this conversation, my husband was very unsure about everything.  And when he told me, “It doesn’t matter to me, it’s up to you.” I felt like replacing my middle name with my maiden name and still keeping his last name was pretty fair.

I kind of wish that we would have had more than one conversation for clarity, but now it’s a little too late for that.

I’m currently waiting for my final hearing date for my name to be changed back to my FIRST, MIDDLE, HIS LAST, and I’ll be done with all the shenanigans.

Are you married or thinking about marriage? Did you drop your maiden name or did you keep it? Was your partner mad? If so, why did you keep your given name?

Are you getting married? What are your plans when it comes to your name? 

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